If We Could

Chapter 7





With crossed arms and raised brow Dongwook watch his younger sister drag a deep breath as she played with one key on her piano. She has been doing so for the last thirty minutes that he has been there. With one look he knew exactly what was going on.


“I see. Now it’s going to be like this?” He smirked seeing her straightened out from where she was sitting


“I don’t know what you’re talking about oppa” She answered nonchalantly, pretending to fix the lyric sheets that she had been working on.


“Oh I know exactly what is going on” Dongwook pushed himself away from the door frame. “Please go to school Dara. Don’t let Dad find out about this or you’ll get yourself a one way ticket back to New York” He said before turning to walk away.


“Perhaps New York is a better place for me after all” Dara stared at her brother’s retreating back before sighing again.



Yunmi popped another piece of kernel into her mouth raising a brow at the soccer team captain when the guy spared her a glance as if challenging him in to something.


She was sitting yet again, alone on a spot, where most students would study or wait out for their class schedule.


Yunmi watch Jaejoong as he stares into an open space, pretending to nod and agree to what Micky was complaining about.  She was never friends with those boys except for Jaejoong of course and yet she knew what they were really up to most of the times. Probably one of the reasons why they doesn’t like her at all. She gets to rile up their captain which in return would make their day worst by making them go on continues laps just because he’s mad at Yunmi or he needed an outlet.


She sneered when Yunho for the nth time looked at her again. What was the guy thinking anyway? Of Course Yunho was a bit cruel that night  yet he spoke of nothing but truth, even she have to agree with that, however that didn’t give him the right to talk to her that way. It’s not like she was planning to hurt anyone. Especially Dara and Jaejoong.


Speaking of Dara. Yunmi haven’t seen the girl for three days already. She had tried calling her phone and even tried to ask Jaejoong about her. But all she got was an out of coverage recording and a guilty look from Jaejoong.



Jaejoong flinched when Yunho called his attention. They just finished working on some of their plays when their leader called his name.


As he looked around he saw his team mates looking at him with concern.


“Hyung are you ok?” it was Junsu who patted his back.


Jaejoong nodded “yeah. Why?”


The other guys who carelessly flopped on the grass only shook their heads.


“Aren’t you going home now Jae?” Yunho asked, now a little bit more than worried. Kim Jaejoong had never missed the time. He had always been asking to go. The team had not missed the lost expression the guy was wearing for the last couple of days.


“Oh…” Jaejoong finally realized before awkwardly placing himself in front of their captain.


“Can I go?” He asked which Yunho only nodded in reply.




The week ended with Dara not coming to school at all. Yunmi grew guilty for even attempting the use the girl to make Jaejoong move on. She might not know exactly what happened that led her to stop going to school but she knew that it was because of Kim Jaejoong.


Then on Monday, She finally decided to do something about it.


Dragging the perplexed Yunho out of the soccer field and commanding him to drive into Dara Park’s address. A mere rough sketch she had gotten from their principal after a thorough persuasion of the old man just to give her the address of the Parks.


It didn’t take them long to locate it and both Yunmi and Yunho was left gaping like a fish waiting for the iron to open fully so that they can drive to the main house.


It was Dara who welcomed them. And though smiling – or was trying to, the two guests could see that she wasn’t looking so bright like she used to when she had first gotten to their school. Yes, she looked aloft and mysterious but now Dara Park looked…. Defeated.


Dara led them into her music room, and gotten them a cool drink. They seated awkwardly and stared at each other for a while, as if measuring each other. As if waiting for the brave one to start the impending argument.


Of course Yunmi was the one that needed to do it. Yunho was still confused as to what his role was exactly to this meeting. The girlfriend- ex girlfriend didn’t exactly explain why he needed to be there.


“You stopped coming to school. I needed to know why” Yunmi started


Dara couldn’t help but smile at the forwardness of her new friend. She had come to like the girl and considered her as someone close because… well, in as much as it weirds her out. Yunmi knew her. She could read her like a book and for Dara… that was pretty surprising.


Dara shrugged, placing back the tall glass of refreshment into the center table.

“I don’t think that I needed to”  She looked away from the curious eyes of Yunho and looked at her friend directly. “it was a lost cause”


“Just because of a guy?” Yunmi straightened, making the guy beside her and Dara to flinched.


Dara pushed herself up from where she was sitting, walked towards a small office table, pulled out a stack of paper clippings and handed it to the two. “this is not about just a guy! He’s is Kim Jaejoong”


Both guests’ eyes widened in horror and realization.


Dara wasn’t even looking at them. She couldn’t bare the guilt of seeing both accuse her of something she had been deeply regretting.


“Ho…. How?” Yunmi stuttered as her hands shook. Yunho stood and walked towards the window, clearly distress at what they had found out.


“I just came back from New York. I was so young and…” Dara started shaking as well, collapsing into her small sofa, breathing hard and in tears.


“I was so stupid and spoiled and….. I wish I could take back everything. but I can’t ” Dara sobbed helplessly.


“I had wished to meet him. To say how sorry I was. I swear! And I promised myself to do everything to make up for it, But I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to stay and fall in love with him.” She gasped at her own revelation


“I love him and yet I know I had no rights to do so. I robbed him of his life. Their life. And it is eating me up just knowing I was the one who…the one who killed her” Dara choked as she continued crying in from of them, as if begging them to give her the forgiveness that she had been wanting.


But they knew that they couldn’t give it to her.


Yunmi stood, wiping her own tears.


“She was my friend. And I am glad you are feeling the way you are right now”


“Yunmi ah!” Yunho gasped, shocked at her reaction


“Saying sorry would mean nothing. So go ahead and rot yourself here. Stay if you wanted to. Leave if your conscience is eating you. It is your call Dara. But at least this time do something right”


Yunmi span and walked out of the room with Yunho in tow.


Dara continued crying as she watched them go. Feeling miserable and scared.





Another week had passed and the news about the new student withdrawing from the school became the latest student buzz. There were different speculations. From sudden sickness to family problem and as simple as the rich girl finally was too disgusted with the school so she transferred to high profiled ones.


Of course Kim Jaejoong hadn’t missed those news and couldn’t help but to formulate his own reasons.



One reason of course that had been nagging him was because he had successfully broken her heart.



Jaejoong sat and watch her play at the swing. Her beautiful round black eyes shines as she looks up the sky. Her giggling was like a music in his ears and Jaejoong remembered his feelings for her. It has always been Park Bom. From childhood to college. But was it still Park Bom until now?


Jaejoong mentally trace the features of her face as she continued to swing up and down. And then her black eyes suddenly looked so brown Jaejoong had to blink twice to see Bom’s black one.  Her black straight hair soon became brown and sprung up into a few gorgeous soft curls. Her lips became pouter that Jaejoong wished to taste those lips again…


The swinging stopped and Bom stared at him, it was the longest silence between them.


“You are thinking about her again Joongie” Bom whispered, a spark of jealousy written all over her face


Jaejoong didn’t attempt to hide it anymore, Bom knew. Bom always knew. And it was his silence that made her vanished.


Jaejoong jumped from where he was sitting. Panicked grew inside him that he started calling for her.


It took all his strength until his knees gave way and he collapses kneeling on the pit sand. Crying with all the guilt in the world. Until he heard soft humming beside her.


Bom smiled, and Jaejoong could see the tears in her eyes. He inhaled deeply when Bom brought up her hand to caress his face.


“I love you Joongie… but you don’t need me anymore”


“wha… No… Bom… I need you. Please don’t go” he begged, now wanting to grab her fading hands and face


Bom smiled then shook her head


“Please let me go Jae. I have stayed for too long”


Jaejoong shook his head again, tears running down his face as he felt again the pain like he had been cut raw again.


“I can’t go on without you Bom…”


Bom’s face became thinner as Jaejoong gasped for more words to convince her


“Yes you can Jae… I was waiting for the right time… and she came… it is time Jae… do not be afraid to love again” she continued to vanish right in front of his eyes until Jaejoong could no longer see her… feel her…




Dongwook waved as the guy drove towards his sister’s music room. He sighed in great relief seeing the guy coming in to talk.


Dara had come from pretending to be sick to being really sick and after a few days she became deathly pale, looking like a zombie who had not seen light and food.


Dongwook sipped his coffee and continued to read the anatomy book on his lap wishing and praying to all Gods to bless her sister with all the love and luck that she needed.


He visited her sister just this morning and found her at a worst state. The guilty look was still in her eyes as she stared absentmindedly on the clippings and photos on the floor. He knew that a week ago two of her friends or classmates had visited her and that was then that got her deeper into depression.


He had driven himself to the school and managed to talk to one of the people who knew or considered Dara as a friend. Dongwook was glad he was able to find Yunmi and the girl shared to him some light to the situation.


He needed to do something about it. He didn’t care how much it would hurt his sister just as long as they could put an end to it.


Throwing away the book from his hand Dongwook waited for the worst.




Jaejoong carefully turned the knob and quietly stepped into the room, expecting the worst. Dara’s older brother had been really confrontational early that day. Accusing him of playing with her sister’s feeling making her sick and deathly.


Of course Jaejoong felt the need to ask for forgiveness and promised the guy that this time he will do everything to make her smile again.  He had come into terms with his feelings and finally decided to give it a try.


Of course there was no denying that he had like Dara Park and he knew that it wouldn’t take long for him to fall in love with her- if he is really not in love with her now.  Jaejoong silently berated himself. Who was he kidding? He love her enough to actually think about her even when he was with Bom.


It was not easy to let Bom go, because for years she had been his everything.  But then he was ready. He’s ready to move on and love again.


“Dara..” Jaejoong called and was leaning forward thinking that Dara could be somewhere in the room


“Dara!” He shouted in panic seeing her on the floor, unmoving. He kneeled beside her and cautiously shook her. And he was glad when she slowly opened her eyes.


“Jae…?” she called weakly, voice almost inaudible. She blinked, probably thinking that she was dreaming.


“I’m here” He smiled, caressing her face, guilty beyond doubt, thinking that he was the reason for her state. How could he have caused her so much grief in such a short time that they have known each other? She doesn’t deserve the way he treated her.


But then Dara started crying and shaking on his arms. Saying words, pleading forgiveness that he couldn’t really make out. Dara struggled to free herself from him but Jaejoong held her tightly.


“I’m sorry… I’m sorry i didn’t mean to” she sobbed helplessly, pushing her weak body away from him and hugging herself as she curved like a defeated ball a mere feet away from her.


Jaejoong stared as he listened to her plead “I’m sorry Jae… I didn’t mean to kill her. I’m sorry”


And he heard the last few bit.


Realization hit him square in the face as his eyes caught one of the headlines on the newspaper clippings that was scattered across the floor.


He stumbled backward, feeling the world dropping on him like an ice cold bucket of water.




Running away from it would be the best thing.  And so Jaejoong run, feeling like dying all over again


Like what Yunmi and Yunho did. He left without looking back.


Dara wanted to call him out. Beg again until Jaejoong say he had forgiven her. She watched him stumble across the room, crying again.


Now guiltier that ever, Dara wailed in pain. It was the strangest and most painful  feeling she had ever felt. Gutting herself out would hurt less, she just knew it.



[lilies_009 note! oh wow! Hey!!!! Do not give me that look! _ Hahaha I know I promised you a happy ending right? You will get it! Damn I feel so stupid for making this! IT HURTS LIKE SHIZ! Sorry I wasn’t able to post. I was literally at the top of Mt. Canlaon!hehe google it guys! Nice place. Nway! Who’s ready for the last chapter?  I swear a happy ending and I swear u will get it. Nway! I really do think that I am losing my touch! *senti fool have fun guys! Watch out for the last chappy!’




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